Maroon 5 Lyrics Are Not Amazing As Bob Lefsetz Contests

Here is my response to the latest Lefsetz Letter re. Maroon 5 lyrics (the letter in question can be viewed here):


Dear Mr. Lefsetz;

I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been getting your letter for over a year now. Sometimes I’m intrigued by it, sometimes I don’t like it; sometimes I agree, sometimes I don’t. But what I’ve never been able to handle is your mystifying fascination with grade-school quality lyrics. You break down lines that are so cliched as to be laugh-out-loudable as if you’re deconstructing a Canterbury tale. Usually I just hit delete and try to ignore why an  intelligent man has the lyrical taste of an illiterate 13-year old girl… but today that changed.


When you got to the part where you were actually analyzing and paying homage to some of the least imaginative and embarrassingly boring lyrics I’ve ever heard in this new Maroon 5 song I actually thought you were kidding. I was convinced it was a wind-up. Your reaction to the line “you turned your back on tomorrow” was an emphatic “Whew!”. Really? This is satirical, right? But as I read on I realized that you were, in all earnestness, blown away by these lyrics. “I gave you my love to borrow but you gave it all away”. These are the kinds of lyrics that make so much popular music unlistenable. And yet you practically deify it.


I just can’t make sense of it. When there’s platinum-sellling artists like Springsteen, who are blue-collar, poetic geniuses, who say something with every song- whether it’s been said before or not, they give it depth and meaning. Or artists like Death Cab For Cutie, who still manage to write catchy-as-shit indie pop tunes but make almost every line mean something. Why are you, who has been privy to so much great music in your time, impressed by the dumbest shit ever written?


“You can’t expect me to be fine

I don’t expect you to care

I know I’ve said it before

But all of our bridges burned down”


What fucking bridges? This is dumb, Bob. Dumb and boring and awful. Children fail creative writing classes for stuff like this. If they don’t, they should. And yet, you’re putting it on a pedestal. You’re embarrassing yourself. You’re embarrassing me for (once) being a reader of yours. You are offering forgiveness to unforgivable music in a time when no such forgiveness need be offered. There is so much good music out there! So many lines of near-poetry embedded in catchy hooks. So many interesting and fresh ways to sing about old concepts like love and sex and fishing or whatever. But you waste our time and your brain cells on Adam Levine lyrics. This is why I can’t be your reader anymore. I hope you understand.

To close, I will offer a quote from the great Maroon 5 that i know you’ll appreciate:  ”Even the sun sets in paradise”.


It’s been nice reading you.




Adrian Glynn

Shows with Dan Bern! (one of me all-time heroes)

 Hello friends and foes (why are you here if you’re my foe? That’s strange. Get it together);
      I hope this finds you. The sun is becoming less anti-social in my hometown and thusly are my mood swings relegated to the arena of happy and optimistic. I wish this vitamin D high on all of you (especially my foes. See how happy I am? Jesus-happy).
     I am also joyous because I am soon to share the stage with one of my all-time songwriting heroes, Mr Dan Bern. His songs have coloured my existence for some time now and it is an absolute honour and pleasure to announce that the Fugitives (the modern folk band i am a part of, for you newbies) will be playing four shows with Dan Bern in latter May in Southwest BC. I encourage you to attend.
  Mon May 21st @ Joe’s Garage in Courtenay, BC.
  Tue. May 22nd @ Char’s Landing in Port Alberni, BC
  Wed. May 23rd @ Hermann’s Jazz Club in Victora, BC
  Fri. May 25th @ The Waldorf in Vancouver, BC (early show!)
  See the Tour Page for details (
  The Fugitives will also be playing the Skagit Valley Poetry Festival this coming weekend.
And I will be playing solo at the Serenity Performing Arts Centre in Birch Bay, BC on May 26th. Link.
     Elsewise, i would like to encourage any Vancouverites to see a fantastic play at the Havana Theatre over these next 2 weeks. It is called Farragut North and stars my brother Alex. The film, Ides of March, was based on this play (but the play is far superior). Link.
       Other than that, I have been feeling frighteningly insignificant since i heard about the Pale Blue Dot on the podcast, Radiolab. Don’t know why I hadn’t heard about it. It’s the famous photo the Voyager spacecraft took 4 billion miles from our planet . Look it up. And also look up Carl Sagan’s accompanying quote. Then go sit on your roof and weep quietly. That’s where you’ll find me, until next time.
     All kinds of regards,

Playing some shows with a hero of mine

Anyone that know me knows that one of my all-time favourite musicians over the past decade has been Mr. Dan Bern. The poignancy, humour and outright honesty of his songs have been a big influence on my little life. And now a little dream of mine is coming true- we’re doing some shows with him! The Fugitives will be doing four Northwest dates with Dan Bern in two weeks. The Van one is May 25 at the Waldorf. Here are the others:
May 21- Joe’s Garage in Courtenay, BC
May 22- Char’s Landing in Port Alberni, BC
May 23- Hermann’s Jazz Bar in Victoria, BC 
Tickets are now on sale for Van and Vic.

Por favor, Vote for Glynn in Tracks on Tracks

It’ll take you 5 seconds. This is for a wonderful CBC/Green Couch collaboration called Tracks on Tracks to bring a few Canadian acts across the country on a big music train. Like Festival Express! It’s pretty cool. I’m up for it and The Fugitives are up for it. But you can vote for 3 artists! So go here, click on Take Our Survey (not a survey) and vote for myself and The Fugitives (and my buddies The Zolas while you’re at it).

Chocolate Rabbits and Implied Fornication!

Greetings of Spring! Chocolate rabbits and implied fornication to all! Resurrection! Redemption! All wonderful things. I hope this finds you in a well. I am Glynn and this is my news.

I’m at the tail-end of recovering from euphoria withdrawal after the closing of our play, Chelsea Hotel, in early March. It was a wonderful run here in Vancouver and we hope to do it again in the Fall. Thanks to anyone who was able to make it out to see it.

I have to ask for your vote again. I’m starting to feel like an NDP Leadership candidate but it seems to be the way things work these days. This is for a wonderful CBC/Green Couch collaboration called Tracks on Tracks to bring a few Canadian acts across the country on a big music train. Like Festival Express! It’s pretty cool. I’m up for it and The Fugitives are up for it. But you can vote for 3 artists! So go here, click on Take Our Survey (not a survey) and vote for myself and The Fugitives (and my buddies The Zolas while you’re at it).

I’m very excited to announce that The Fugitives will be playing a couple West Coast shows with none other than Dan Bern! For the past 9 years or so, if anyone asked me if I could suggest some new music for them to check out my first response would almost always be Dan Bern. He is one of the funniest, most unpredictable, most poignant songwriters i have ever come across and his music has been a huge part of my life for almost a decade. Can you tell I’m excited? We’ll be playing Vancouver with Dan on May 24th and Victoria on May 23rd, details to come.

Other than that, it is mainly back to writing for me now. This involves a lot of sitting and staring so i stretch in the morning to prepare for all the sitting i’m going to do. If you know any good stretches to prepare one for the strenuous endeavour of couch-sitting, fire away.

There will be summer dates and such to come, so stay tuned. And thanks, as always, for your patronage.


Glynn (for now)

Adrian’s Nominated for Emerging Artist of the Year! Please take a second to Vote for him.

Adrian has been nominated for a Canadian Independent Music Award but he could use your vote (takes a few seconds).
1. Go to this link:
2. Enter your email
3. Find Adrian Glynn under the Emerging Artist Category (at the bottom)

4. Select him and go to the bottom to hit Submit.

Thank you!!

A play, a nomination and Herzog.

O, February, dark month of low sun and faltering resolve. Wilt thou have mercy on us yet? Happy belated New Year, friends and neighbours. Here’s what is happening in Glynn-town.

      I just got nominated for a Sirius XM Canadian Independent Music Award for Emerging Artist of the Year (what a mouthful). This is a voting thing, though! So if you can spare 10 seconds please go click for me, it could mean a very handsome bursary toward my career. Go HERE, enter your email, find me under Emerging Artist (at the bottom) and then once you’ve selected me find “Submit” at the bottom of the page. Thank you muchly!!
       The Play! Yes, i’ve been on a theatre stage for the first time in years for the past few weeks in a new show entitled “Chelsea Hotel”. It is based on the songs and poems of Leonard Cohen and it is has been very well received so far! Here is a review. It’s on for ONE MORE WEEK at the Firehall Arts Centre in downtown Vancouver until March 3. Here’s the website for tix and info:
     Touring! In March I’ll have a couple shows with The Fugitives in the interior- Nelson, Rossland. And then I’ll be out in Ontario in early April playing solo stuff. Dates will be on the website very soon.
This play has overtaken my life- i haven’t had time to think about much else of late. But i am ensconced in Werner Herzog’s “Conquest of the Useless”, a diary of his from 30 years ago. His attention to detail and ability to see life (and death- definitely death) in banalities around him surely are what make him such a unique and confounding filmmaker. And speaking of films, I still think The Artist is one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve ever had at the picture shows.
Onward and sideways, amigos. Until next time, I remain myself.